Monday, February 4, 2013

Pantheon Monday: Heimir, the Laughing

Is this a thing? Am I crazy? Either way, here's a god for you.


(the Joyful, the Drunken, the Laughing)

Lesser God, CG
Portfolio: Hospitality, alcohol, jests
Aliases: None
Domain Name: The Beergarden, Ysgard
Superior: None
Allies: Aros, Eleia, Haparos, Raya, Salan
Foes: Halor, Rhamna, Taelii, Tyros
Symbol: A beer barrel
Worshiper Alignment: Any

Heimir (HIGH-meer) is the patron of hospitality and alcohol. He is something of a trickster, and has a long list mythological exploits that including befuddling and fooling the other gods. The patron of brewing and alcohol, all taverns and inns include at least a token icon of the god somewhere on their grounds. Few would dare to whip up a batch of ale without first giving the proper praises to Heimir to bless the endeavor.

Heimir is often depicted as an enormously fat man wearing the brown habit of his order and a belt of golden rope. His most famous adventure, in which he rode a beer-barrel out of Valingas upon the waters of life, provides his most beloved depiction; Heimir on the Barrel is often what his statues, paintings, and cult idols display. Of course, that’s hardly all there is to the Joyful God. He is also known for the Fool’s Feast, when he and Aros played Haeron to sleep in order to steal his power for a fortnight and make changes for the good to all of ArunĂ«, walking amongst the people and slaying enemies in the Seventh Age.

Heimir’s joys and lusts are vast, and he represents the pleasant side of drink. It is Salan, his demigod servant, who takes the form of the dangerous frenzy of release. Heimir is often worshipped along with Vaela and Fortuna as part of the “travelers trio,” as his task is not only brewing ale but making sure that travelers are given a place to stay upon the road. Invoking the name of Heimir against a miserly home-owner who refuses hospitality is known to lay upon that house a curse.

The Church
Clergy: Brothers of Heimir only
Clergy’s Alignment: CG, NG, CN
Turn Undead: No
Command Undead: No

The Brotherhood of Heimir is the only organization that belongs to the Laughing God. They are without exception male monks who take holy orders to live a life devoted to his worship. They have no central hierarchy save for the secret Hymns of Heimir, which are part canonical law and part recipe-book. Brothers are supposed to remain celibate (though they do not always, and Heimir sometimes forgives the infraction) and devoted to the sacred arts of the brewhouse. Bee-keeping, the tending of herb gardens, and writing are all important skills for Brothers to cultivate in order to produce the life-affirming ales, meads, and liquors of their Drunken Lord.

Brothers gather in communities of anywhere between twenty and five hundred monks, forming taverns (which ubiquitously use the Sign of the Frothing Mug) or monasteries where they may retreat from the grievances of the world to perfect the sacred arts. Each tavern or monastery is independent from the rest, though theology tends to differ little between them. The Hymns of Heimir are shared amongst them all, and there have strangely been no alterations or textual corruptions in any Heimirian holy-place. This is often attributed to the good graces of Heimir himself.

At the top of any Heimiran organization is the Abbot, followed by his humorless brethren the Brother Purser and the Brother Lictor who control money and obedience respectively. Abbots, true to their roots, are also Brothers Quartermaster all and must account for the food and drink of the monks in their care. Every Heimiran house also has a Brother Brewmaster, a Brother Hopsman, and a Brother Herbalist (who may or may not have the training of a medicus as well).

Of course, Heimirans do not always stick to their sacred places. There are a fair number of wandering Brothers who seek to bring the light of the Joyful God to the people, rather than wait for the people to come to their sanctuaries. These men are welcomed with glee at every Heimiran outpost, for their feet tread the hard and lonely path of the world armed only with a handle of ale.

Dogma: Brothers of Heimir who maintain houses are encouraged to stay away from the corrupting influences of the world. Those who wander amongst the roadways are told to prepare a secret place within themselves that will be untouched by the sadness they encounter. In either case, all Brothers believe in the healing powers of laughter, good food, and good drink. No Heimiran will ever turn anyone away from their door—this has actually developed into the semi-official doctrine of Heimiran Sanctuary in which a fleeing criminal may enter and hide in a Heimiran house without fear of seizure.

Day-to-Day Activities: Heimirans spend their days in worship, meditation, brewing, and the preparation of brewing manuscripts. They serve travelers, operate inns and taverns, and grow their own beer-making implements.

Holy Days/Important Ceremonies: The Feast of Fools is the most important holy day in the Heimran calendar; it is celebrated on the 10th of Greening each year. Like Raya’s Libernian Festival, the Feast of Fools is a celebration of freedom. However, unlike that festival, the Feast of Fools celebrates divine disorder.

Wandering Brother of Heimir
(Specialty Priest)

REQUIREMENTS: Wisdom 9, must be male
WEAPONS: Staff, club, sling, knife
MAJOR SPHERES: All, Chaos, Creation, Healing, Protection, Travelers, Wards
MINOR SPHERES: Animal, Charm, Guardian, Plant
MAGICAL ITEMS: As normal priests, but they are unable to use armor of any kind.
REQ. PROFS: Religion
BONUS PROFS: Brewing, Herbalism

At first level, a Brother of Heimir may purify food or drink one time per day in addition to any other spells prayed for. Food purified this way will taste hearty and be quite filling, while drinks become a thick mead or stout ale. In this way, a small amount of trail rations or food can be made to last twice as long as normally would if this spell is cast every day upon it.

In addition, priests of Heimir gain thief skills as though they were bards, following the bardic progression table.

At 3rd level, the Brother gains the power to spread infectious and riotous laughter; by laughing with an enemy, the Brother may cause them to begin laughing themselves, uncontrollably. They may save vs. spell (with wisdom bonus) to resist this power. If they fail, they continue to laugh for as long as the Heimiran laughs; the effect lingers for 1d3 rounds after he stops.

At 5th level, a Brother of Heimir may brew semi-magical brews as per a Mystic of equivalent level (refer to Faiths and Avatars).

At 7th level, Brothers of Heimir may exude any positive emotion (as per the 4th level wizard spell Emotion) while talking, singing, or jesting. These continue to remain in effect as long as the Brother does nothing other than speak.

At 10th level, a Brother of Heimir may affect anyone who has eaten a piece of food or drink of liquor given to them by that brother with a suggestion spell. The target must have eaten or drunk something granted to him by the Brother within the last round for him to be a susceptible target.

At 15th level, Brothers of Heimir become immune to any ingested poison. Likewise, they can subsist on mere crumbs of bread and sips of dew, thought such a life is not very pleasant. Finally, a Brother of this level may create a sanctuary by spending one hour defining its borders. Within a sanctuary, all rolls to recover HP naturally are made at maximum (ie, 4hp/night) and all proficiency checks receive a +1 bonus. All saves also receive a +2 bonus while the characters remain in the sanctuary. A sanctuary may not cover more ground than 10 sq feet/level, and a Brother may only define one sanctuary at a time. Upon defining a new sanctuary, the old one is lost.

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