Friday, September 4, 2015

Weird Lists and Tables

After a strange discussion with some people in my IRC channel, we began to came up with joke tables listing strange and very specific things. While we didn't go through and make each of those lists at the time, I felt that this could be something that the internet would enjoy. Here they are.

Table: Discarded Clothing Found in a Human City
1. A trampled red tunic with a rip along one side
2. A pair of particolor hosen, stained and mud-logged
3. A slashed cloak that still contains 1d8 gold pieces wrapped up in it
4. A pair of boots that were never worn
5. A pair of boots with a poisoned dagger slipped in an interior sheath
6. A belt with no buckle
7. A belt with a tarnished silver buckle
8. A blue tunic that's perfectly fine, if a little stained
9. Undergarments of various sizes and conditions
10. A woman's dress, bloodied from childbirth
11. A wimple
12. A cap

Table: Things Found in a Place Where Adventurers Have Made Camp
1. 3d20 copper coins scattered about
2. 1d4 pairs of dice
3. 1d4 daggers, dirks, and knives
4. A pot or pan
5. A lost scroll (20% chance it is magical)
6. A walking stick
7. A mage's quarterstaff
8. 1d10 tent pegs
9. A half-drunk tun of wine
10. A discarded feed bag
11. A forgotten sack of oats
12. A nicked and battered arming sword

Table: Things Found in Commoner's Purses When Picking Them (Other Than Money)
1. Nail clippings
2. String
3. A needle (30% chance the thief takes 1d2 damage)
4. A child's tooth
5. An ivory charm
6. A wooden charm
7. Lint
8. A key
9. 1d6 beans
10. A handful of wheat
11. A tallying stick
12. Flint and steel

Table: Effects of Eating a Random Mushroom in the Forest
1. It tastes good!
2. Uh oh... save vs. poison or be violently ill in 1d4 hours
3. It tastes bad, but otherwise no effect
4. Skin breaks out in a horrible rash. -2 cha for one day
5. Gives you sleeker and more well-groomed hair for a day. +1 cha to a maximum of 16
6. Bestows awful breath. Penalty of the DM's choosing
7. Bestows sweet breath. Bonus of the DM's choosing
8. Makes the eater hyperactive, -1 to all init counts for 1d6 hours
9. Makes the eater lethargic, +3 to all init counts for 1d6 hours
10. Places the eater into a coma-like state the next time he sleeps, adding 1d4 extra hours to sleeping time
11. Obviates the need for 1d6 hours of sleep today
12. It makes the eater even more hungry than before

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