Monday, August 5, 2013

Forest Gnomes and the Story Generator

Forest gnomes in the 10th Age talk. They talk a LOT. One of their primary attributes is their ability to ramble from story to story ad nauseam without a break. This can be very demanding on a dungeon master. For this reason, I have created this handy set of tables to determine what story a forest gnome is going to tell.

This story is about...
1. a close relative (move to the Close Relations chart)
2. a distant relative (move to the Distant Relations chart)
3. a friend (move to the Friends chart)
4. a stranger (move to the Strangers chart)
5. an inanimate object (move to the Objects chart)
6. food (move to the Food chart)

Close Relations
1. my brother
2. my sister
3. my father
4. my mother
5. my aunt
6. my uncle
7. my first cousin
8. my niece
9. my nephew
10. a near ancestor (grandfather, grandmother, etc.)

Distant Relations
1. my first cousin twice removed
2. my second cousin
3. my third cousin
4. my cousin from another kingdom
5. a distant ancestor
6. a non-blood relative

1. my neighbor
2. my best friend
3. my best friend's friend
4. my most hated enemy
5. my father's friend
6. my mother's friend
7. my grandmother's friend
8. the local sheriff
9. a stableboy I know
10. a drunk friend of mine
11. a wizard's apprentice who I talk to sometimes
12. an adventurer I know

1. a traveling merchant
2. a tin smith
3. a blacksmith
4. a cooper
5. a leatherworker
6. a woodsman
7. a farmer
8. a fisherman
9. a trapper or furrier
10. a gardener
11. an adventurer
12. a servant
13. a cow
14. a chicken
15. a pig
16. a rooster
17. a horse
18. a mule
19. a donkey
20. a ferret or squirrel

Once you have a person move to People, Stage Two

Inanimate Objects
1. a funny rock
2. a huge tree
3. a brook or river
4. a gross moss or lichen
5. a neat cave
6. a ruin I saw
7. a wagon
8. a broken barrel
9. a pond or lake
10. a well

Once you have an Inanimate Object, move to Inanimate Objects, Stage Two

1. a cheese that was so big
2. a cheese that was so tasty
3. a cut of pork that was enormous
4. a side of beef
5. a rasher of bacon cooked so well
6. something disgusting that I can't even describe
7. a stew made by a family member (roll on the family members chart)
8. a dinner cooked by a stranger (roll on the strangers chart)
9. a lunch made by a family member (family members chart)
10. a slice of veal
11. a cabbage
12. a meat pie
13. a delicious apple
14. a wormy apple
15. pears
16. a fine wine
17. a honey-mead
18. some melomel
19. a bunch of fried eels
20. a jar of olive oil

Once you have a food, move on to Foods Stage Two

[People, Stage Two]
1. ...met [another family member] at [location table].
2. ...met [a stranger] at [location table].
3. ...has a long-standing feud with [a family member].
4. ...has a long-standing feud with [a stranger].
5. ....ate a [food].
6. ...was getting married. And at the wedding there was this [food].
7. ...was at a halfling funeral where they served a [food].
8. married last year.
9. into a huge fight with [a stranger].
10. into a huge fight with [a family member].
11. ...found this [inanimate object].
12. ...tripped over, fell into, or tumbled down this [inanimate object].
13. ...stole [anything] from [a stranger].
14. ...stole [anything] from [a friend].
15. ...stole [anything] from [a family member].
16. ...drank himself into a stupor and wandered around for a whole afternoon!
17. ...fell down a well.
18. lost in the woods.
19. ...discovered a buried treasure.
20. ...was attacked by kobolds!

[Inanimate Objects, Stage Two]
1. ...was in my backyard, it turns out
2. ...was hiding the entrance to a lair of kobolds!
3. ...tripped my [family member] (or they fell into it)
4. ...tumbled down a dell when I was walking by. So I followed it and [twist].
5. ...was stuck in the road or otherwise transversed it
6. ...was hiding a goblin!
7. ...was used as a weapon in an ancient battle
8. ...was, I think, probably from the First Empire

[Foods, Stage Two]
1. ...was served at [my family member's] wedding
2. ...was used as a weapon in an ancient battle
3. ...was eaten by a count in the next county!
4. ...was eaten by [my family member] and made them extremely sick.
5. ...was eaten by [my family member] every day for a year and made them enormously fat.
6. ...was eaten by [a friend] and made them extremely sick.
7. ...was eaten by [a friend] every day for a year and made them enormously fat.
8. ...fell into an [inanimate object].
9. ...fell into the fire and made the house stink for days.
10. ...was full of worms!
11. ...ended the feud between [two of my family members]!
12. ...fell from the larder and smashed on the floor, the day before [a friend or a family member] was about to come over and eat it!

[and these things happened at...]
1. someone's house
2. a blacksmith's
3. the forest
4. a field
5. the village green
6. the communal oven
7. a road somewhere
8. the next town over
9. a temple
10. a roadside ruin
11. a roadside shrine
12. a roadside inn
13. a regular inn
14. a market or fair
15. a pilgrimage site
16. an abbey
17. a nearby city
18. a castle
19. a meadow
20. a marsh

[Relationships between two people in the story]
1. hated each other, ever since person A insulted person B's [anything]
2. got into a huge fight one time over [something inconsequential]
3. are great friends
4. sometimes trick other people for no reason
5. are related through [random relation]
6. live next to each other
7. have been lying to each other for years
8. don't know each other at all

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